


Feeding Frenzy

by Pitry



Category: Despicable Me (2010), Doctor Who
Genre: Bananas, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitry/pseuds/Pitry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They came alone, in pairs, in packs. They were relentless. They had only one thing in mind. Even the Doctor could not stop them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feeding Frenzy

“Banana?”

The Doctor stared intently at his banana. Yes, he had a banana in his hand. Yes, he was about to eat it. He _deserved_ to eat it, really - it’s been ages since he’s had a banana, and wasn’t he the one responsible for just about half of the imported bananas in the universe? A frightening number of them came from Villengard! No, he decided. He will eat his banana.

“Banana?”

The Doctor sighed. No rest for the wicked...

The source of the word turned out to be sitting to his right. It was a... thing. Creature. It was slightly elongated, wearing goggles over its eyes and a blue overall over the rest of it, and was very, _very_ yellow. As a matter of fact, the Doctor thought, one might describe the creature as banana-like.

“Get your own!” he said roughly.

The thing frowned.

“Banana?” it asked again, sounding hopeful.

“No!” the Doctor responded. “This is _my_ banana. Go get your own banana.”

The creature looked at him miserably. “Banana,” it said.

The Doctor couldn’t quite look at him, so heartbroken and sad. “Alright, alright,” he said with a clear grudge. “I’ll give you some - but just a bit, d’you hear me?”

“Banana!” his yellow companion said happily, and started nibbling on the tip of the banana that was given to him by the Doctor.

Now, for the banana -

“Banana?”

The Doctor stared at the thing. But it couldn’t have said the word - it was still nibbling on the banana happily, rather oblivious. With a sinking feeling, the Doctor turned to his left. The banana-esque creature there was slightly taller than his companion, and had only one eye, but the eye was covered by a goggle, it was wearing the same kind of jeans overalls - and he was very yellow.

“No,” the Doctor said. But he was already feeling guilty - he couldn’t feed one of them and not the other, now, could he?

“Banana?” the thing to his left said miserably, and the Doctor sighed again, and gave him a small piece of his banana, too.

He didn’t have the chance to take a bite himself when he heard the word spoken once more. This time, in front of him. “Banana!”

They were a pair. They had goggles. They had overalls. They were yellow. They wanted his banana.

“No,” he said, more firmly this time, and took a small bite. He was, after all, trying to make a point.

The things looked at him mournfully. The banana didn’t taste so good all of a sudden.

“But I can’t!” he insisted. “I don’t have enough! It’s my only banana!”

The things kept on looking. They weren’t even saying ‘banana’ anymore. He rolled his eyes, he riled up inside, he resented them - but he gave them both pieces of his banana.

By the time that happened, another half-dozen yellow things showed up. In a few seconds, they were all chewing happily on their bananas. On _his_ banana.

He had nothing to eat.

He noticed then that he wasn’t the only one. There was another, slightly smaller banana-ish creature. It was looking at him with obvious distress. The Doctor opened his arms wide, trying to make a point. “What d’you want from me?” he demanded. “I don’t have any banana to give you! I’ve run out of bananas! No more bananas from me! Stop staring at me like that!”

The thing looked more and more depressed. The Doctor couldn’t really be angry with it. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish I had a banana to give you. But I don’t. I don’t have any more bananas. Ask one of your friends.”

Unfortunately, that was the moment the first four creatures finished their bananas and started fighting over something else. This lot didn’t look like the kind it would be safe to ask bananas from. The Doctor rolled his eyes. Well, it was all very unfortunate, but there was nothing he could do to help this one. Not to mention that now, banana-less, he was hungry, too. He rummaged his pockets. There must be something he could eat, something tasty inside one of the - ah. He found it, hidden away, and pulled it out of his pocket. His wonderful, red, round -

“Papple?”

**Author's Note:**

> Punchline taken from the Minions banana video, of course. Don't fix what isn't broken, etc.


End file.
